First Date With a Chick

....Those wer the days wen i finished ma engg and was loafin ard or mebbe before comin dwn here....dun wit gre n comp courses crap...was bored to the core...dint hv a chick till then...so thot of hvin a gal frd..but, hw do i start??? wer shud i hit chicks??? am no student...am a graduate awrdy...must hv dun this wen am in ma engg...but neva into it seriously! So, thot of hittin sum chicks....but, again...hw do i start??

Was thinking ways.. had a pal,Mj....was a gud frnd of mine n still is...(he doesn't knw it n will neva knw it as he aint into this blog world....only if sum of ya guys bump in, n thn yu can leak it to him...no woriz...but will defnitely be pissed..for sure...)....so wer am i, ah! gotcha!....so we both used to hang ard a plc near ma home....its a snooker and an internet parlour...a juice shop...a good college road,wer most of the chiks pass by...

Now, this pal o mine is a real patafier, dunno hw he used to manage but always used to be busy wit some chicks...a lil abt him....finished engg n waitin for a break..now he got it..made it big...so this guy used to come home,pick me up or vice versa...used to hang ard there...waste time..no goal in life...jus lazyin....wasted!...so, i often used to ask him...dude, hw do ya manage...he neva used to tell me...always waves me off as a kidd n thinks am not capable...hw cud tat be??am notorious n taz default....so i schemed ...

One day...i took his mob n was browsin his texts...many texts frm his chicks...numbers stored wit names like "A", "X", "Z", "?"....so askd him...

Me: Dude, whuz this A??
Mj: God knws...i dunno..
Me: huh
Mj: some chiks numba dude...yet to figure ...as to whuz she..hw she luks...wz she studyin etc etc..
Me:but, hw dija get the numba??
Mj: Yu ask too many ques...Gimma mob back...
Me: ok ok...relax...

Then, before givin his mob back, i took the numba stored in the name "?", coz taz real anonymous... without him knowin...so, acted as if nothing has happnd....then completely forgot abt it…went home, had grub n its time to crash…then ws fiddling ma mob n then I rem’erd this ?....damn sure tat it’s a chick…definitely be gud lukin…or elz he wudnt hv stored it in his mob…so smsed tat numba…I still remember.. this was ma first msg…

“ Mom sez, Donn talk to strangers…but wen sms is free..y don’t v chat??”

I hit the send button n then the wait started…am finally hittin a chick…then ma mob beeped…

?:whuz this??
Me: stranger…fancy a chat…
?: I knw its yu…(n she started guessin names for the next coupla msgs)
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Me: am not anyone…chill…n started hittin…
?:so hw dija getma numba??
Me: dude, a random msg…guess it found an intrestin person…
?:hmm
Me:oryt…so intro plz..
?:later…busy nw…
Me: (oh shit! First chick n am on the edge of goofin it up…was thinking real hard to make it intrestin n keep hold)….dude, chill..no details needed…lez do sumthin intrestin..okie??
After sumtime….was waitin desperatleeeeee n then ma mob beeped…
?:ok,wat is it…
Me: (yeah! Got her attention,nw need to handle it smooth) well…so wzya studying…as we have to knw each otha to make the conversation runnin…
?:ok..am doin my MBA..you?
Me: Finished ma engg..nw planin ma ms, abroad(hopd this wud work!)
?:oh yeah! Gud..wer n in which branch
Me: (is it ma engg or is it ma ms??carefull as I dinn wanna loose grip)MS in sum awsum hi fundoo course in *****
?:gud!
Me: well wanna temme ur name??
?wz urs??
Me: KAY
?:mine later..tell me bout urself n tell me as to hw yu got ma numba…(she still thinks its sum known guy makin fool)
Me: am blah blah blah…n I seriously dunno ya…wer r ya frm??
?:am frm ****
Me: is it!!strange…am also frm ****
?: now now…hw dija get ma numba??
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.n this went on until I made it finally…after hell lots of explanations n crap…gained her trust n finally found her name…her name is some SOW..watva…ka..a loooong name…n thn…I was crazy about her..alwayz on ma mob…smsin evrytime…even on the pot…shez driving me crazy….then..promoted..started callin her….n now calls…hrs n hrs on fone…sweet nothing(not yet..still we r jus friends…accordin to her…n I dinn tell her…but on ma side…am crazy abt her…always thinking of her…she aint ma first luv…(ma first luv is anotha chik in skool…used all crazy stunts(film efekt)…okok..am diverting…discuss abt ma first luv later)…so,again..she aint ma first luv,but still…sumthinz goin on…

and this continued days n days…I neva asked her to meet, neither did she…we only talk n text….all ma pals wer like…whuz this n wz goin on??…told ‘em…ma old frd…frm ma native place..came here to study …n covered it up…nw no woriz…

… The big day…was out in the beach…n hvin sum intrestin topic goin…sms mode…like hw do I propose a gurl…silly!!but the best time to patafy her…so was thinking fast and came up wit a weird answer n am damn sure tat it wud definetly giv her a jolt…n then I knew…I wudn’t get a much beta chance…so sed the 3 lil magic word or rather msgd ‘em…n thn a loooon pause…

she was like…hmmm…hw cud this be possible…yu dint see me…yu donn know me…wat wilya do if yu donn find me upto ya mark….(hint: means shez interested as she aint seyin..NO….)
n then som deep emotional msgs frm me to her…n those touched her heart deeply…we hv become real close n cozy wit each otha…so am hittin her real hard…so finally

AM IN LOOOOOOOOVE! The bug struck me…n thn its nw time for us to meet Miss.S…no more”?”

Me:hey!lez meet up
S:yeah!thinkits time..
Me: so shall we go out tomm??
S: ok,but wer??
Me: Yu tell..
S:naah..yu decide…
Me:lez decide later…wil come n pick ya up at ur hostel at 6 afta ur classes r dun,OK?
S:ok

Next day…
Disaster!!!

Dumb Tuitions (Nasty)...Pain in the ****

Well, those wer da days wen i luvd playin more than studyin....studyin was always a pain in the arse to me....who invented education....it sux frm the core...atleast to me it sux....there have been many nasty incidents in ma childhood in the private tuitions...i've changed many tutions or maybe it shud be like this...most of the masters or teachers threw me off...here v go ...one-by-one...frm childhood to manhood(is this ryt??)neways....(keep readin)

***** Those were the days wen am studyin some 5th std or 6th..i dont rem'er...(taz y i needed a tuition)...that was the time wen am in peak level of creatin nonsense....ma mom searched for a tuition and put me up in some aunts house along wit her son,"A"....ma sis took me to the tution as she also wanted some help wit some subjects....but i neva went wit ma sis....the masterz kinda weird....used to come on a kinetic spark or some crap(does neone rem'er how does a kinetic spark luks like??shud be kept in a museum..iz an antique..)i was always an hr befor the time..playin with A...used to be fun...the masterz also a peace guy...used to get"chandamama" and used to read the stories to us...(wat is he tryin???) it was fun tho untill........

One day he said hez gonna put up a test....i've been doin all the tuiton work in some crap "diary"(my dad used to have loads of 'em)...so wen he said test...i said yeah...total geared up for the big test(i've got ma own ways ;-) )...so he gave me some problems to solve...n then.. I sat in the corner of the room....n started solvin the probs in the other side of ma "diary"(the trik is i've bin copyin em frm the other side)...n here comes the worst part...i got caught....(how cud i be so dumb....i've been usin the diary for the past x mons..n he knows it)then the "sweet-chandamama-readin-master" turned into a "blood-suckin-monster"...i got shit scared...n gave a slip(damn the slips...they haunted me all ma life...till now) to ma incharge(ma sis) tat hez gonna meet ma dad tomoro...holy cow....am screwed up....n he comes in tomoro,but awrdy ma dad thrashed me...so the next day he(the-so-cald-sweet-chandmama-reading-master) adds up spice... n ma dadz got the sencond chance.BIFF...POW...taz done....no more tuition..for tat yr...peace..
(hey 'A'..incase yu bump in here...the movie (cl... ha....) at tat age was fun..)


******Then comes the 8th std....now am a phant wearin boy to class...no more knickers(wat v used to call em)...eyeballin some attractive chicks wit some pals...havin a good time...but studies were always there...(damn it!!!)..so ma mom this time hauled me into a tuition..this time its a game of death...the master is a prof in a univ...the prof is a syko...but a stud in edu..but a syko in real...a lil bout ma master...lez take his name as RAMBO....now this syko is somewer ard 50+ old bag driving a sparkling clean LAMBY(a shit scooter,donno y he used it!!!)wit all bad habits(now i also hv em..so whu sez bad habits???)..he drinks..smokes...n the best part is he beats the shit outa his wife n his 2 beautiful daughters (some good lookin chiks outa which one finally managed to vanish away ;-D...)...He used to spank em blak n blue ryt in front of the tuition dudes...but hez a total stud in subject...dudes shine under him...so mom enquired n made ma dad join me in the 'hell'...there the most relieving part is all ma dudes in skool r there...then met a dude..."Ash"(he always wanted everyone to call him like this this) n Nav...n a bombshell DI....Bra...Rah..some crazy chiks also...so we all in same skool n same tuition...we all used to have good times then...but wer good is tho shallt follow bad...so bad time started...(now Ash n I r in the morning batch...Rambo woke up to start his day on a total hangover...eyes like red fiery balls....the mere look oh him...n 2 drops were awrdy out in ma undies...then started class....I was dead sure sumonz hittin a jackpot tat day....all r calm...one guy S (famous by name Banthy) (if he ever comes across...he he he)(hez the lucky one to hit the jackpot)..well...donno wat happened exactly(basically i was thinkin of sumthin elz)....but suddenly got pissed ....n the fustrated Rambo was searchin for sumthin to bang up S....nothin was available..now now....how cud tat be??? there has to be sumthin to make the incident rockin (for me to tell in future) n excitin..there was a massive lock...used to lock up the garage door....tat started lookin good to Ramboz eyes...he had a flash of wicked smile on his face...(or was it my imagination) n then out in a flash...WHAMMMMMM...(a mystery to acoustics...an unimaginable audiowave)...still dunno weder its his skull or the lock)..hit the poor bugger on the head.... it was a scene i couldnt neva forget in ma life...was on the floor lafin ma ass out(everyone) after the sessions over....this incident was jus a starter... hang on for the main course...

---one day...this syko got pissed wit a chik..n started rampaging at her...the gal got the jolt of her life wen he started screaming...so outa tension she peed in the session...n he got syked up(means more fun)....its becoz of the fustration only ,the gal peed...was lafin ma ass out.... (everyone)

some other day...wen the sessionz goin on some dumb ass farted... (not me..trust me!) taz the best part...he got syked coz the aroma( :-))) ...defnitely)was due to the last nyts pappu(dal) or wateva..he brot som 'agarbathis' then....was out lafin again.... this was good coz he sent us all back home...coz he cudnt stand the smell...n taz gud news to me especially... so days kept rollin..done wit our some in-btn exams...holidays in skool..but tuition runnin housefull....i was bunkin as usual....then came a slip(damn it..here comes slip 2) thru ma sis to ma dad... "send me in" is the brief matter on the slip...i was terrified...so next day wore 2 tees n a jumper on went...

Rambo : were have yu bin??
me : sir,ma house whitewashin..so helpin ma folks in settlin the things...
Rambo(pissed,as sumone awrdy ruined his mood) : GO N PAINT UR HOUSE, U SILLY JERK (shouted so that the whole street can hear)
me: sorry sir..
turned back n came back home next day back in tuition..as usual..all pals n the bombshell...
lifez goin on...

-- one day,as usual session started...i was sittin on the ground with 2 more dudes(this is a way to impress)(and also wen v come in late and all the benches r filled up :-D)...he was tellin some crap in physics..am doin sumthin other than listening....then..
Rambo : wat is the formula for some freakin xyz??
me : (looks at him like a dumb ass)
Rambo : (repeats)
me :(same exp)
Rambo :(pissed to core)

n suddenly........wat i can hear is a loud KIBBIK (sound)...wat happened was..he was betr than beckham(was becks playin then???)..n the KIBBIK sound came frm ma head(or his leg???mystery till now).....i was humiliated(same way banthi felt..but i was lafing then).....everyone was lafin....serves me ryt coz i used to do the same (a bit more extra than needed)...so i walked out..went back home.....back followed a slip(damn it..#3....)"send him in from tomoro"...i said i wont go.....n taz history..but wat abt vengeance????

idea 1--- put sand in his spotless lamby fuel tank...
idea 2--- throw stones into his house..

both r dangerous...so started grouping up wit boys whu hv tasted the wrath of Rambo...Ash awrdy left as he too had his piece of ass blastin...so then came P (called keti)(hey dude...if yu ever come across this blog,rem the old days....he he he...) hez lookin for a partner in crime...so v became the best of frnz....n one sunday...wen the sessions in full house....v on our bikes(cycles) started goin up n down his house shoutin like mad dogs...usin filthy language...abusin our fellow classmates in there...on our way back for the 5th round...Rambo was outside n saw both of us....if he wud hv gotten hold of us then we wud hv seen the real rampage rambo.holy shit....now in real deep shit....but thank god..no more slips followed....end of hell...

then P(called keti) was in a new tuition....this time its a fun place...the masters name is CHEEZ(name changed)(all he ever wanted was FEES...suits his name)(but a master always at peace).... this time....i made ma dad go n talk to the master...no no more mom's pushin coz all ma pals r there....so enter heaven...

******** so first day of tution....gave a grand entry....am very happy in there.... Ash was awrdy there...sum new pals added here...NagS(danth...) ...Red (donno wer he is now)...WK( I crashed his cycle doin some "MUTA MESTHRI"(local film) stunt )...Sun(ma pal out here)...but ma old chumz (enter Ash n P) are awrdy in...so started havin a good time( in btn..Ash lost his cycle..was in luv wit a chick n many more happened)....then one day...or the big day....the mains r fast approachin...n v r laggin behind....so the master CHEEZ,was in a flow goin fast wit the syllabus.... i was feelin bored...not at all intrstd in the session....lukd at Ash...he was like kinda bored(same kind of species)...so then i threw a chalk at him...he threw it back...hey presto...v started a game ...n the game slowly started into a battle of chalk fyt...we were having total fun....suddenly master lukd ard...then i was in action....wit an amazin pose... master broke loose....same red fiery eyes as in Ramboz eyes...i cud sense the heat....almost cud see waz gonna happen in a few seconds...History goin to repeat...

Cheez : "FUCK OFF" "FUCK OFF" (in an alarmingly hi pitch) and one tight slap..
me : (game over)..

tuition over..jus becoz of me...came out...all boys followed(or rather he threw all of us out!!!)...was lafin at me..this time a bit humiliated abt the slap..but no woriz since no chiks around... tat day at home...

dad : y yu wanna change tuition??
me : master bad boy...usin all bad words
dad : yu must hv done sumthin..
me : this time ,no mistake frm my side...
(dad was tired...wanted to interrogate...luckyly dadz drained out..so not serious....saved!!!)
dad : (tired)..lez see
me : (phew)...thank god..

next day..my so cald frd Ash came down to ma place n started chirpin like a parrot...ma mom knew the whole story now...

me : (blank face)...

ma mom wanted to blast....but xams cumin up...so spared me or saved her energy for a beta reasonnothin serious(as of now)...end of heaven too... now the next day...exams fast comin. n am somwer laggin behind....ma moms tensed....then told her to go n talk to one more famous tuition centre in town...this time iz a lady...a good sweet ol' lady cald L...ma mom went to hr house...
mom : i want to join ma son in here
L : yeah sure,wat class is he in??
mom : 9th
L : i have some students frm 9th frm the same skool,T
mom : oh yeah !!
L : so wats ur sons name???
mom : Kay
L : (alarmed)(ma fame has spread awrdy...damn the classmates..) ohh..am sorry...i'll see if its possible for him to join the next batch coz this batch is awrdy full...
mom : ok(wat elz cud she say)

so mom returns home....n the minit shez indoors...bhoom..bhamm...biff...pow...am a dead duck...

so studied on ma own....n the rest is a lil secret.... end of tuitions in skool age... taz ma tuitions in skool age..so in ma next post(hopefully)...i'll write abt ma college tuitions...

guyz...Ash,Keti,Banthi,Nav,Sun,NagS,WK,bombshell DI....incase yu take in a look....jus rem'er the old days...

peace out for now...

Kiss - A Disaster!!

…….Those wer tha days wen am new in tha foren land…..so was busy eyeballin all the foren chiks….eyeballin big time….

So one day…
Was wonderin…hw to hit on a firang chick…no ideas….new in this area….so asked ma frd…..

Me : Dude…hw do we hit on the chiks man here??
J : huh?
Me : like…hw do we start tha conversation wit the chiks man??
J : (like an expert) dude…listen up…there are some ways…[giving me gyan kinds]
Me : is it?? Then wot r ya waitin for…spill em…
J : the best place to hit on chiks are the nyt clubs or pubs…
Me : and….
J : chkout which pubs got some intresting hawtt chiks nd go there…
Me : yeah yeah….go on…am listening…
J : sogo in…find a cozy place…take a beer….light up a ciggy nd start looking at the chick…the chick yu interested in….
Me :and…
J : chiks donn buy ciggies…so they’l come nd ask yu…
Me : so woz the funda here??
J : if the chik comes and ask yu for a spare ciggy…
Me : yeah yeah…this is intresting….if she asks…..then ….
J : so if she asks…then YU tell her…
J : will trade it for a KISS!
Me : shut the fukkup….whom r ya farting to dude….it ait eze…
Me : I gues syu tryin to make me a fool ….fukker!
J : okie, fukker…nw donn again ask me…
Me : well, duz this work??
J : been lucky coupla times…got real hard smooching by them…nd all this for a CIGARETTE…its funn
Me : oh yeah!....peace..will try out…


So days passed…nd I forgot abt this….me moved to some otha place….so one nyt …wanted to go nd hv some funn…so we( anotha pal nd me) hit the roads nd barged into a super crowded best pub in the city….

Loadsa hot chicks…daching…drinking….hvin fun I guess…driving me crazy…2 eyes not sufficient….evry damn chik lukd kick-arse….

So got beer nd settled in one corner….eyballing e-v-e-r-y chick….big time….as if therz no tomm…. n then…

Me : dude, yu knw hw to hit on the firang chiks?
R : no dude…been trying tat…still aint lucky…
Me : simple man…if ya wanna kiss a chik…therz one way…
R : is it?? Wot is it??
Me: juss keep smoking….some chikz defnitly gonna come nd ask fo a spare cigy…
Me : yu shud then tell her…
Me: gimme a kiss…take a ciggy…give n take funda….
R : is it…strange…noone told me..
Me : its true buddy….it happened too…

nd we lit the smokes nd started smoking…sippin beer nd chkin on the chiks….

Suddenly….

A drunk chick comes towards me...

The drunk chick : hiya..hwz it goin…
Me : awryt, yu?
The drunk chick : ace!
Me : well…
The drunk chick…yu hv a spare fag on ya?

next later....will update soon...am hittin the bunker!!!.......awrdy half sleeping!

My First Post...

Am still testing my blog...i donno nethin abt this blog crap....am tryin to sort out wat it is n how do i fill it up n how this thing worx n crap crap..Jesus..i've tried n numba of names n not even one freaky urlz available...holy shit...newayz i found one finally...(phew)..thank gawd....ryt then...will be back shortly wit some intrestin n amusin n crazee stuff soon...this is a total NONSENSE site..oops,blog...my own,my precious... kay kay.....peace out....